19 Facts about Baha’i spies in Iran

• 19 Facts about Baha’i spies in Iran
• June 26th, 2009
• From an Iranian

  To: The Respected President of the Guinness Book of World Records

  Dear Sir,

We would like to nominate Iran for consideration as the world record holder with respect to the nineteen (19) accomplishments below:

1. Iran is the first country in the world to label over 400,000 followers of the same religions as spies.

2. Iran is the first country in the world where spies are freely and openly going about their lives and the government is not apprehensive about them. However, once in a while, a few of these spies are arrested in order to keep the government militia from boredom; then the spies are interrogated for a few months so that interrogators may gain experience. Sometimes, spies are tortured for the practice of the torturers. Ultimately, a few face firing squads for testing of the guns.

3. Iran is the first country in which spies are born as spies. There is no need for the courts to prove the allegations against them since they are innately convicts from birth. They have no rights; therefore, there is no need to consider their civil rights when bringing charges against them.

4. Iran is the first country where if spies recant their faith and convert to Islam, they are no longer spies, but are consideredsaved.

5. Iran is the first country in which spies, when arrested, have to attend Islamic studies classes – with the aim of their conversion to Islam.

6. Iran is the first country where its spies are secret agents of Britain, Russia, America and Israel, all at the same time. Interestingly, the spies themselves and the leaders of these countries are unaware of such affiliations; only Shariyat-Madari (editor-in-chief of Kayhan, government of Iran backed newspaper) knows.

7. Iran is the first country that has had thousands of spy groups and spy gatherings that have been in contact with the Ministry of Intelligence for the past 25 years.

8. Iran is the first country that banned gatherings of thousands of espionage groups and asked spies to dismantle their assemblies. However, the members of these groups are required to sign pledges consenting that they will not teach their religious beliefs! Even more interesting, members of these groups refuse to sign such pledges.

9. Iran is the first country where spies are not paid. Instead, they spend their own money to tend to the affairs of their community, to eliminate poverty and improve literacy. These activities are the biggest proofs of spying charges against them.

10. Iran is the first country where spies introduce themselves as followers of a religion that the government of Iran equates with espionage. The followers of this religion do not even outwardly hide their convictions to save their own lives.

11. Iran is the first country where spies have established moral and educational courses for their members. Strangely, the government denies them entrance to universities to prevent them from spying in institutions of higher education.

12. Iran is the first country where spies are drafted for two years of obligatory military service. They are even given guns and receive intensive military training.

13. Iran is the first country where spies receive lashes with utmost love; their properties are confiscated with Islamic fairness; they are executed with utmost kindness and Islamic compassion. The government bestows, with utmost friendliness, civil rights specified for spies, in the form of imprisonments, forced free labor, insults and slanders.

14. Iran is the only country in which, there are potentially 40 million spies. Women that ask for the same rights as men are called spies. Men that defend these women are also called spies.

15. Iran is the first country that provides all necessary means for these spies to leave the country and cheers when they have left.

16. Iran is the first country that doesn’t find it necessary to compile documents and evidences to prove espionage charges. Whoever says that he or she is a Baha’i, that person is automatically a spy. Whoever says women are human beings with the same rights as men is a spy. Whoever is engaged in medical research for finding a cure for AIDS is a spy. Whoever establishes an N.G.O. (Non Governmental Organization) for helping children and saving the environment is a spy!

17. Iran is the first country in which at the election time, nobody is labeled spy and all have equal rights and should vote.

18. Iran is the first country in which spies, without any bias and in all fairness, are convicted, sentenced, insulted, and their names publicized by mass media, before they are even tried in courts!

19. Iran is the only country in which Baha’is are not permitted to work in any government office or agency, they hold no position of influence, they have no access to any sensitive or classified document, and they have only opened their little shops and are busy with their businesses, and yet they are still spies!!!

[Translation by Iran Press Watch.]